Episode 256:The Dam Analogy: Battling Burnout in Dentistry

“We are caretakers. We take care of our patients, teams, friends… everybody who has stuff going on, and that is tiring. It drains us like crazy.” ~Dr. Eric Recker

In this episode of Everyday Practices Dental Podcast, hosts Regan Robertson and Dr. Chad Johnson are joined by a special guest, Dr. Eric Recker, a dentist and life coach, for an insightful discussion on a topic that affects every dental professional: burnout and work-life balance.

Burnout is a real threat in dentistry, but how do you recognize the signs and prevent it? Are you constantly driven by a false sense of urgency, or have you found ways to refill your own cup? Regan, Chad, and Eric explore this critical subject, sharing strategies that dental professionals can use to not just avoid burnout but to thrive in their personal and professional lives.

You’ll hear about Dr. Recker’s personal journey from overachieving triathlete to mindful practitioner, and learn about his “dam analogy” for managing energy flow. Eric shares the importance of self-care in maintaining high performance, even when demands are high. Whether it’s about recognizing burnout symptoms, managing the false sense of urgency, or ensuring your energy levels are up to par, Eric provides practical insights that can help you navigate the demanding landscape of a dental practice.

As you listen to this episode, we want you to think about the following questions:

• How do I typically respond to high-stress situations in my work or personal life?
• Which of the aspects of self-care – movement, relationships, or quiet time – do I need to prioritize the most?
• What practical steps can I take to improve my work-life balance and help my team do the same?

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Announcer: The Productive Dentist Academy Podcast Network.

[00:00:02] Eric Recker: We are caretakers. That’s what we are. We’re taking care of our patients. We’re taking care of our teams. We’re taking care of our friends. We’re taking care of everybody who’s got stuff going on and that is tiring. That is just tiring snd it drains us like crazy. The being everything to everyone, but ultimately at the end of the day, we have an opportunity to help people be seen, known, and heard.

[00:00:28] Regan Robertson: Welcome to the Everyday Practices podcast. I’m Regan Robertson and my cohost, Dr. Chad Johnson and I are on a mission to share the stories of everyday dentists who generate extraordinary results using practical proven methods you can take right into your own dental practice. If you’re ready to elevate patient care and produce results that are anything but ordinary, buckle up and listen in.

[00:00:53] Chad Johnson: Hey everybody. Welcome to Everyday Practices Dental Podcast. This is your host, Chad Johnson and my co-host Regan Robertson and my co-host Maggie Augustin, Regan, Maggie, how are you guys doing?

[00:01:05] Maggie Augustyn: Great to be here with my favorite people and soon to be our new favorite person, Chad.

[00:01:11] Chad Johnson: Yes, I have an old buddy, Dr. Eric Reker, who’s joining us today and he’s down the road from us, proverbially speaking in Iowa, Dr. Eric, how are you this morning?

[00:01:23] Eric Recker: I’m fantastic. It’s great to be here with you guys.

[00:01:26] Chad Johnson: Excited about having you on. You’ve had a lot of life change really since COVID in your development of your perspective and going from dentist to dentist and more, which is ironic because, uh, to some degree, your goal is to figure out how to find balance snd then I’m making it sound like you’re doing and more, but your life has been about doing the and more. I mean, you’ve accomplished a lot. How we met was with triathlon stuff before even really formally hooking up in dentistry with, uh, AGD stuff and whatnot. So, um, we’ve been involved together just for the listener’s sake, uh, with the Academy of general dentistry in the Iowa. scene and you even encouraged me to move up into the VP and president role for the Iowa chapter and whatnot. So thank you for that but nonetheless, like, so you have a lot of accomplishments. Let’s start out by asking, what did that teach you?

[00:02:18] Eric Recker: Yeah. I can go all the way back to the recess playground in third and fourth grade, when I was told that I wasn’t good enough to play kickball. So that’s a big part of my story. People are like, “Yeah, right. Look at you now. You’re six, five, you’re athletic. You’ve done all of this stuff. How in the heck did people tell you you weren’t good enough?” Well, I was Husky back then. I was one of the youngest people in my class. I was seriously uncoordinated and so, you know, they probably weren’t that far off, but to hear that you are not good enough to participate in something when man, all I needed to do was get on the field. I was going to get that kick. Everybody was going to know that I was good enough, but no, it didn’t happen. So I made a pact with myself on that recess playground, that I was going to be so good at everything I ever did that no one would ever not pick me.

[00:03:11] Maggie Augustyn: So those words of you not being good enough, you use that information as a driver of what not to be, as opposed to using that information as a soundtrack to continually get you down.

[00:03:25] Eric Recker: Exactly. Yeah snd I believe we have that choice when words are spoken over us. We can say, “That’s as good as I’m going to get. That’s my reality,” or we can say, “No, I’m going to be better than that.” and a lot of that had to do with having a super supportive home life. I don’t know what I would have done if, if school was bad and homeless bad, that would have been a really tough situation, but fortunately I had that. So what it turned me into was someone who truly believed that nothing was ever good enough. Uh, all the way through high school, dental school, and then I started running and then through marathon that wasn’t enough through Ironman triathlon. That wasn’t enough and it wasn’t until probably during COVID when I had that memory come back of myself standing on the recess playground. So I didn’t even know that I was working off that broken soundtrack my whole life until that came back and then I realized, “Oh, wow. Your whole life has been about trying to prove people wrong who moved on from you a long time ago.” So I really, the biggest thing that was missing in my life was my, why, why am I doing these races? Why am I doing all of this? And because I didn’t really know why I was just going to keep going and going and going. After I did my first Ironman, I spent three days researching double Ironman races.

[00:04:48] Chad Johnson: Oh and let’s talk about this. Have you ever done a ride across Iowa? Tell us about that.

[00:04:53] Eric Recker: Yeah, so we would, myself and a bunch of my buddies, we were all in ridiculously good shape. So we just came up with crazy things to do to challenge ourselves. One day we decided to swim from the, uh, Intella, from the mile long bridge to the dam. That was a seven mile open water swim. So we did that and then we decided to write our Do a One Day Reg Bri, which is right across Iowa, in the state of Iowa. In a day we decided to do it, and Chad’s done that. He’s done a different version of that, but it’s still, it’s set up the same way. Right. Did it as a fundraiser for an adoption agency but yeah, that’s 250 to 280 miles, uh, in a day.

[00:05:34] Chad Johnson: Why not?

[00:05:35] Eric Recker: It was just, that became so encompassing. I know Chad, you’d start, how early would you start writing? What? Three, two in the morning?

[00:05:42] Chad Johnson:  No, for that event, we started at 4 0 AM and we had a midnight finish. We let people go beyond it, but like officially to be a finisher, to be fair, I never finished the whole thing. Like I got to 200 miles and I just wanted a pizza. So I, I did the double century and I was like, screw this. I just remember getting past checkerboard pizza in Pleasantville and just being like, what am I doing? You know, like how you get in your head.

[00:06:07] Regan Robertson: Chad’s why is for pizza. Yeah.

[00:06:10] Chad Johnson: Yeah. After like 12 hours, it was just like, like, why, who cares? You know? So like you push yourself and then you ask yourself why, you know, so this is unfortunate that you had all these things set up. Come about in your life and then you’re working with dentists who can’t relate to you in this matter, because none of us are driven or anything like that. Right. So I’m sure that this hasn’t resonated well with other dentists who are not driven, like I’m joking. How’s it been received in the community? Like, I’m sure there’s some people that are like, “Well, what’s wrong with you?” And that’s kind of weird because it’s just like, well, obviously you’re not aware enough and then are there others that are like, yes, yes. So tell us about the yes. Yes, sirs.

[00:06:46] Eric Recker: For sure. So people outside of dentistry and a lot of people don’t understand my drive. They can’t wrap their head around it at all and especially now with speaking and coaching and some of the other stuff that I’m doing, they’re like, well, why don’t you just be a dentist?

[00:07:02] Maggie Augustyn: My husband says that all the time.

[00:07:04] Eric Recker: Yes.

[00:07:05] Maggie Augustyn: I want him to take the CliftonStrengths and I want to see that he is an achiever. That, that’s what I would like for you, Dr. Eric, is to take the.

[00:07:13] Chad Johnson: Oh well, listen, he just took the test. That’s his number one. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Don’t even bother taking the test, Eric. You’re you’re number one.

[00:07:23] Maggie Augustyn:  We tested him right now. Is that what you’re saying?

[00:07:25] Chad Johnson: Yeah, that’s right. Hold on.

[00:07:26] Eric Recker: Yep. I tested it. It’s happening this weekend. I’m going to take the test because I was scolded listening to a podcast last night because I haven’t taken it. I won’t name any names. But I know two people who are four out of five on their compatibility. So I need to see where I stack up, but other dentists get it, especially dentists who want to become the best that they can be in their profession. People who want to take their practice to the next level. People who want to provide as many jobs for as many people as they can, who want to serve their patients really well. I think there’s a reason that there seems to be such a trail of carnage in our profession, especially among people who are the big CE leaders because dentistry becomes their spouse and it’s hard to maintain relationships with that when you are just driven so hard and so I’m really fortunate that I have a very supportive wife and there were a couple of times along the way where I had to make decisions. There was a time when it was the first week of school for my kids and I had worked out every morning that week and I missed the first day of school, second day of school, third day of school, the fourth day of school, I was leaving the pool in the morning, and I had a choice to either drive to work or drive home. I had an Ironman race coming up in, uh, in two months and I knew that if I just went to my office and continued as normal, I would finish that race but I might lose my family along the way I went home, apologized to my family. My kids were super young at the time, but it was a real fork in the road moment because I needed to realize this was becoming very, very, very selfish for me and I wasn’t bringing my family on board with it and I think as dentists, we can really do that because there’s so much burden. There’s so much load. There’s so many things that we’re carrying with our practices. That we need to step back every once in a while, actually very regularly and understand why am I doing this? What’s the end game of this and what am I losing in the process?

[00:09:37] Maggie Augustyn: And the fact that it doesn’t constantly have to do with proving yourself to the kids that you couldn’t play kickball. Right? I think we need a t shirt that says, why can’t you be just a dentist? I have a different way of looking at it also because as a woman and as a breadwinner, there’s also a different part of this equation where I’m constantly being accused of not being a good enough mother, not being a good enough nurturing wife. However, what I have also discovered in the process, despite me being gone, especially more recently as I travel, I’m going to boast for a minute here. We just had parent teacher conferences with my daughter and my daughter’s 14. So I don’t know her as well as I did when, when she was 11 or nine, but four out of five teachers said, we’re just so grateful and you did such an excellent job raising your daughter, despite me being a practice owner from before she was born and so the fact that I wasn’t constantly present in her upbringing, I worked full time, isn’t necessarily devastating to raising our children. Not to say that choosing work over family doesn’t cause catastrophe. It absolutely does but there is a component of it where you can make it work but balance is everything and that’s what we struggle with and that’s why life coaching is so necessary is to bring us back to center. And I’m sorry, Chad, I feel like I cut you off.

[00:10:58] Chad Johnson: Eric, you bring up a good point and Regan, I was going to mention on Eric’s point. I haven’t quite thought through the difference between selfishness and narcissism. Like what, you know, the difference is whether it’s momentary versus a whole lifestyle but, um, we’ve talked about that where it’s just like, man, you know, like everyone is presented with. The opportunity to be selfish or to be narcissistic. It’s just, some people have more of a predilection to owning it and being it. Right. You know, the same thing could go with pride. The same thing could go with any of the seven deadly sins and stuff like that. There’s some people that have no problem with food and other people are like, mom, mom, mom, you know, like pizza and, uh, not naming anyone. But, uh, you know, like that, that, that narcissism of triathletes, Eric, have you noticed that where. You’re doing a 20 hour work week of working out for an Ironman and maybe 10 for an Olympic or something like that. But that’s a lot of time investment and the question is who’s suffering from that and you know, when you’re 25 and you don’t have a family or whatever, like who cares, right? Is it that big of a deal versus when you’re in the thick of raising kids or, you know, you’re in a relationship that you’ve committed to being there for one another and yet you’re not and stuff like that, Eric, your take on selfishness, narcissism, and the triathlon spirit altogether. Have you seen it?

[00:12:14] Eric Recker: Oh a hundred percent. And I’ll just talk for about two hours on this and then we’ll come back to it. Right. But it’s, it’s tough and one of the things that I have really realized, you know, wisdom is this thing that we need in our twenties, but we can’t have at that time, we have to get further down the runway with it. before we get that. So what I realized is that I have an addictive personality. I do and I think a lot of dentists have addictive personalities. We go all in. We don’t know how to do anything halfway. It’s not that I’m going to start hiking. It’s that I’m going to hike Mount Kilimanjaro and I’m going to hike this and I’m going to do this and I’m going to do this. My wife gets terrified when I mention a new hobby or some new interest that I have because she knows how my mind works. She knows how my brain works and so I think triathlon is perfect breeding ground for that, especially when you are on a strict training program and come heck or high water, you are not going to miss one of those workouts. I had a coach who planned a training plan for me and in a year I missed one of those workouts, one, one workout over a whole year, and that was wrong. I look back on that and I was sick some of those days and my family had stuff. I should have been there for but I got so narrowly focused. My, my vision just became so narrow on that prize. Yeah. I don’t know how I survived that looking back and now I know that that was a big part of what led to the burnout.

[00:13:51] Maggie Augustyn: So we talk about the chemicals here. We talk about the dopamine. We talk about the adrenaline. We talk about the addiction. These are all very physiological things that are tied into our emotional state but I also wonder because we have been so driven and designed to be and have practiced to be so driven. Is it possible that when we sit still, we’re so incredibly uncomfortable with that sensation, right? We don’t know what to do with ourselves when we’re not driven. I in particular have a very hard time Thursday evening and Friday evening. I almost cry going into the weekend because I feel like my life is ending. What am I going to do Friday, Saturday and Sunday? Completely out of balance. How can I not be driven? How do you explain that, Eric? What do you tell your clients? How do you deal with that? I mean, you’re not going a hundred miles an hour. Even, I mean, for you, Regan and Chad, too, you’re both incredibly driven, accomplished human beings. Do you struggle with that wave, that almost crash?

[00:14:49] Regan Robertson: I struggle with the self realization just to back up one step, because I did kind of quickly look at the difference between narcissists and selfishness and, and narcissists and, you know, I don’t think they’re very self aware and they’re not really willing to change those patterns of behavior. It serves them to a point where, as Eric, you were saying you had that moment in the car where you could go to the office, you, you had a choice that you could make, uh, and you knew what was going to happen and I have had this happen. So I am not a dentist. However, I relate to. So much of what you’re saying, because I’m so driven by working at Productive Dentist Academy. I love what I do and it does consume me, Maggie, to your point, it is very all consuming and I’ve had it reflected to me, you know, periodically throughout my career when I’m out of balance and it comes in a not very happy form. Usually it’s, you’re not, you’re making me feel unseen. You know? You’re not listening to me. You’re not taking time for me and more like the sadder thing of it is, why is this more important to you? When to meet the majority of people in my life that I love. A job is a job. You hang it up at the end of the day and you’re done. You don’t think about it. My brain, brain is not wire. I know my brain’s not wired like that at all.

[00:15:56] Chad Johnson: I don’t know what that would look like.

[00:15:58] Regan Robertson: I don’t think I’d want that.

[00:15:59] Chad Johnson: And Regan, to that point, you know, Productive Dentist Academy, one of the misnomers of the name in and of itself is it’s like, crush it, crush it more, crush it even more and we’re not, we’re not about that, but it like someone looking at it could be like, I mean, I don’t know if that’s what I want. So there is a misnomer to the PDA name in that, or is it actually just about production? I mean, if so, let’s go on Medicaid. Let’s all go on Medicaid and just destroy it. You know, it’s, it’s a name that they chose 20 years ago and it has merit to it, but there’s also a misnomer to the productive dentist name.

[00:16:37] Regan Robertson: It definitely comes down to the, how you define, definitions of words are extremely powerful

[00:16:41] Chad Johnson: Right.

[00:16:42] Regan Robertson: And I know I see Dan’s book, um, damn analogy, which I want to get into. I’m very excited to learn about the key components of it. So, yeah. Um, how I, you know, define productivity is definitely about helping yourself be efficient and allow for space so that you can be balanced. So that is actually the whole idea behind Productive Dentist Academy. And I think it’s really fair to acknowledge if you are driven like Eric was saying, and what’s underneath that. I love your story, Eric, of, you know, you were on the field in school and you had this moment where you heard this, I’m not good enough and it fueled you and it moved you forward and I think all of us can think back to something that happened pretty pinnacle in your life at some point, and it sent you on one direction or the other for various reasons. I’m very curious since just like Productive Dentist Academy, just like entrepreneurs, it’s ups and downs in life. It is it, to me, it is a constant dance to stay present and to stay balanced and that any tools that people have, um, to help people along the way is something that I think all of us are very passionate about and, and so, you know, having you share what you’ve learned, and I would love to dig into some of the tools that you have developed, um, over the course of your career to, to help with. These, because I think everybody listening can probably relate on some level or another, if they’re entrepreneurial minded at minimum.

[00:18:03] Eric Recker: Yeah. So Dr. Maggie, I want to step back just a little bit, and this ties into this really well. So what you’re facing on Thursday nights and Friday nights is it’s a huge letdown. Physiologically. It’s a huge letdown, all the chemicals and all that kind of stuff, but to give it a name, I call that the false sense of urgency. That is what that is. So to me, the false sense of urgency is a background app that runs in our brain. So it sits right here in the back, right at the base of our skull and there’s no science behind that. That’s just where I put it. So what it does is it just sits there and we have background apps on our phone that, you know, you’d swipe them and you shut them down, or you think you shut them down and then you don’t really shut them down because you have a thought. And then all of a sudden it shows up on your phone, but that false sense of urgency. Is the voice of should and it is the voice that says I should be doing something productive I should be getting something done. I have this list. I’m not tackling the list I can’t sit still you can’t have any moment where you are just resting and refilling yourself, you have to do something heck the last few days You’ve been working your tail off. You’ve had schedule, schedule, schedule, schedule, schedule. Now you have open time. Guess what? I’m not going to let you be okay with that and so that’s what it is for me. That’s the voice that would not let me sit still. That’s the voice that would not let me just read a book for fun. That’s the voice that would not let me just sit and watch a movie with my family. I’ve read a ton of books, but they are quote, according to my wife, those kinds of books.

[00:19:38] Chad Johnson: Yeah.

[00:19:39] Eric Recker: You know, there, when, and we, we read a gazillion self-help books or things to, to further our practices, whatever. When’s the last time we’ve actually just sat and read a book, like a pleasureful book, a book that brings us joy and helps us do that and how hard is it for us to even get into that? And then do we look back on that time and say, “Oh my gosh, I just spent two hours reading the book. I could have this and this and this and this and this.” So the goal is to be aware of that false sense of urgency and know that a huge part of our journey is when we have those times when we’re not switched on to intentionally be switched off so that we can refill ourselves. When we refill ourselves. We have more to give other people and that’s what this is all about. We all want to be deeply impactful with the people that we come across with our patients, with our clients, with our teams, we want to be deeply impactful. But if we keep running ourselves down and always obeying that false sense of urgency, we are going to end up completely empty. And then that’s when our body is going to say, “Nope, no more. You’re going to get sick. You’re going to have this happen. You’re going to have a crisis happen,” and now what are you going to do about it?

[00:20:52] Maggie Augustyn: And do you have an inkling of where that can, cause I call that the art. I, I. I think I’m not the only one when I say I feel like there should be an ROI on every moment of my life. So whether it’s reading a non nonfiction book to then try and use whatever I’m learning to apply it to my life with other people, right? Or doing a podcast instead of watching TV, whatever it is. Where did that come from?

[00:21:15] Eric Recker: What do you mean? Where did that come from?

[00:21:18] Maggie Augustyn: That we always need to have an ROI and every moment of, or is it the fact that we think of life as being scarce? I mean, wait, why, where does that come from?

[00:21:26] Eric Recker: Yeah. I think it comes from the fact that we’re, we’re always measuring ourselves. That’s during the week we are in our, in our jobs, we are always measuring ourselves.

[00:21:35] Maggie Augustyn: So it’s, it’s that achieving part of us.

[00:21:38] Eric Recker: That’s just anothe

[00:21:39] Maggie Augustyn: notch on the belt.

[00:21:41] Eric Recker: Yeah, exactly. We’re always measuring ourselves and we’re terrifically hard on ourselves. I had my coach tell me that a couple of months ago, he goes, “Eric, I don’t know if I’ve ever met anybody who is harder on themselves and has higher expectations of themselves than you,” and I came home and told my wife that, and she’s like, “Duh.” So she is, I mean, she saw that as well. So I have taken that and I’ve chosen not to go to a place of shame with that, but instead I’ve chosen to say, “Okay, how can I love myself more? How can I not be so hard on myself?” And one of those ways that I can be not so hard on myself is to figure out things that truly fill me back up. Things that truly take me from, on a scale from empty to full, that move me towards full. And know that there might not be anything else to show for that other than I am more equipped for the next challenge that comes my way.

[00:22:40] Maggie Augustyn: And for Chad, that’s pizza and for Reagan, what, what is that for you, Regan? That puts you from empty to full because for Dr. Eric, I think that’s hiking. I see you doing a lot of that.

[00:22:51] Regan Robertson: Yeah. Hiking is, I like hiking. I can’t eat pizza anymore. Uh, time with my kids is always really, really precious, but you want the nerdy answer. Video games and that is something my husband and I’ve talked about. He is not and talking about productivity and all of that, there is that sense of guilt. Like I just, I just want to sit and play Zelda with the kids for an hour and there’s dishes that need to be done. There’s laundry that needs to be folded. There is always something to do and so I do definitely carry that kind of, um, I used to, I used to carry that guilt with me and I would say, you don’t, you don’t deserve that. You’ve got to go do something and just push, you know, push yourself to exhaustion, but I love Maggie, what you said about ROI. Well, if you don’t fill up your bucket, if you don’t treat yourself, um, with a lot of value in the things that you’re interested in that do fill you up. I, I mean, I’ve suffered the consequences of that personally. I’ve seen what happens and it’s not pretty. I mean, I will, I will crash and, and I see a lot of dentists pushing the same way.

[00:23:51] Eric Recker: Yeah, and, and it’s a, it’s a road that ends in burnout and I know we say the word burnout a lot and people are getting. Kind of sick of it

[00:24:00] Chad Johnson: Now from hearing burnout.

[00:24:01] Eric Recker: Yeah, exactly but I believe that there is a spectrum of burnout. So we don’t go from one day we’re on the yellow brick road and the next day we are like my situation where I was. On the floor, having a panic attack in my server room after it had crashed, the server had crashed and I had four hygienists waiting for checks and I was 30 minutes behind and it was 9 15 in the morning and I was the only dentist in the building that day. You know, we don’t go from one extreme to the other extreme. You know, we feel overwhelmed. We feel torched. We feel there’s, there’s different things and I think people are like, “Well, I’m not, I’m not at burnout.” Okay. That’s all right. Are you overwhelmed? Are you having trouble with balance in your life? Are you feeling like every moment has to be productive? Are you not being kind to yourself? These are all things that happen along that. Has your life gone a little bit gray? Do you not get excited about things like you used to? Um, do you feel duty to constantly be switched on all the time? All of these things are signs and symptoms that we have to pay attention to. So I’m trying to actually use the word burnout less. Um, because I think a lot of people are just tuning out when they hear that word because they’re, they’re just kind of sick of it.

[00:25:21] Regan Robertson: You know what I did, Eric? I love that. You said that and Chad and Maggie, I put into chat GPT, give me all of the symptoms of burnout and then give me in a professional organization, what causes, what can cause burnout and that switch was extremely helpful for me because then I didn’t have sort of this ambiguous term of overwhelm and burnout. Well, why are you, why are you feeling that way? And, and is there things in your structure that set up in your home life, in your professional life that could be contributing to that? And that was a tool that I’ve used recently to, to really help me better define what contributes to burnout and then it takes the blindness off of that term, I think, and I can sort of attack it at a different angle. Um, If you could tell us about the dam analogy and what, what this book is about, cause I assume it has something to do with flow. Maybe if it’s, it’s DAM, so maybe it, and is it tied to your big swim that you did in, in, uh, Iowa?

[00:26:17] Eric Recker: Yeah, I, I probably should have included that swim in there. I, I didn’t even, I

[00:26:21] Regan Robertson: You didn’t?

[00:26:24] Eric Recker: No, but, uh, but yeah, that was definitely It’s definitely a draining experience that swim for sure and, uh, Chester, I swim in Lake Red Rock before it’s, uh, it’s gorgeous. It’s

[00:26:34] Chad Johnson: Yeah.

[00:26:34] Eric Recker: Perky. It’s, uh, E. Coli ish. Uh,

[00:26:38] Chad Johnson: It’s just from the goose poop. It’s all right. Yeah.

[00:26:41] Eric Recker: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So. The basic premise of the dam analogy, and it is based on a Lake Red Rock Dam in Pella. I was, I was Biggest Lake. I was riding across my, across the dam on a Sunday morning and I heard the term, I just heard, we are the dam and I thought, man, what am I low on blood sugar? Did I, did I not sleep very well last night? All that kind of stuff. So I kind of filed it away but then it just kept coming back to me and as I’ve spent more time with it, what I’ve realized is that each of us is like a damn, all we are really doing is controlling the flow of energy through our lives. That’s all we’re doing. We have inputs of energy, and then we have outputs of energy. What I have found and what I have learned from countless conversations with people is we are good at the outflow part. We will find a way to get stuff done, especially the stuff in our practice. Come heck or high water. We are going to find a way to get the stuff done that needs to get done in our practice. All right.

[00:27:40] Chad Johnson: Yeah,

[00:27:43] Eric Recker: It’s that stuff. It’s volunteering. It’s our tasks. It’s our lists. It’s all of that kind of stuff and what always gets put to the side or almost always gets put to the side in favor of getting our stuff done is the inflow part. We don’t take very good care of ourselves. We just don’t, we’re not really conscious of where we are. So when I, when I do this presentation to a group, we talk about three different ways to measure where we’re at and the easiest one is on a one to 10 scale. One is completely empty. 10 is completely full. And at the beginning of the presentation, I always say, all right, circle your number, where are you? One to 10, don’t think about it. Just circle it and then we talk about some of the things that are going on in our lives, and then we revisit it and it is rare that somebody marked the second time they market, they market the same as the first, because we’re dishonest with ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re a seven or an eight when really a lot of times we’re a two, three, or a four and when we act like we’re a seven or eight and lie to ourselves and say that we’re at that point, but we’re really that low, then we don’t focus at all on taking care of ourselves and we keep getting more and more and more empty and when it late gets more and more empty stuff gets exposed on the bottom. We’re more likely to hit a snag. We’re more likely to make a bad decision. We’re more likely to be chippy or reactive. That’s those days we come home from work and somebody asks us an innocent question and we, we turn into one of those villains on the video game and we rip somebody’s head off. No reason for that other than we’re empty. We don’t have anything else to give because we haven’t been taking care of ourselves. So I think we’re going to do our outflow stuff. We’re just going to get all that done. I think it’s important to look at all of our outflows and see, are there some things that need to go and there are strategic ways to do that but what we really need to focus on is how can we fill ourselves back up so that we can impact the world.

[00:29:41] Regan Robertson: How can we fill each other up? And Maggie said here in the chat, you know, who, who cares for someone who cares for everyone else and as business owners, I, that is a serious question. Everybody needs us all the time. So you have a team you’re responsible for a family at home. You’re responsible for it is your job to lead and be strong and stoic and steadfast, no matter what’s going on. How do you do it? Like, what do you do? Do you, I know when you reach burnout. Your body does it for you. So your body says, yep, I’m tapped out right now. I’m going to get sick or I’m going to crash, whatever it is. Physically, it could put you down in bed. How have you found it’s been successful for you to be better at the inflow?

[00:30:20] Eric Recker: So I know the things that fill me up. I’ve taken time to learn what those things are that fill me up. So movement outside. Is huge for me. It’s incredibly important for me. So anytime I can get outside and move, that is amazing for me. Another thing is, I am hugely relational. I need good quality relationships in my life. I need a coach in my life. I need to have some good, what I would call 2 a. m. friends.

[00:30:50] Chad Johnson: And in the win, the now book, you, uh, was it Mike, your buddy, what was his name? Uh, that you go to breakfast with every once in a while that you’ve known, what was his name in the Todd? Yes.

[00:31:02] Eric Recker: Yes

[00:31:03] Chad Johnson: So Todd kind of guys.

[00:31:04] Eric Recker: Yeah. So Todd is, uh, is one of my best friends. He owns a business that’s about a mile away from where I’m at and, uh, his, his son had a, uh, had a dental accident. About 22 years ago, and I’d come in on a Thursday night and we just started talking. Um, well, these poor kids in the chair, and we’re just having a conversation and, uh, I said, “Hey, you want to have lunch sometime?” He’s like, “Oh, that’d be great.” We have been having lunch on Tuesdays. He comes to my office and we have lunch. We’ve been doing that for over 20 years and so it’s just one of those things. I need those kinds of people in my life to help strengthen me. We strengthen each other. We check in with each other, stuff like that. So that is, I know for me that that’s a huge thing. Some people need quiet and that’s the thing that really refreshes them. Some people need to read. Some people. Can really just, uh, drive around for a while and listen to some music and that fills them up. So there is not a one size fits all. There is a, this is a time where you have to really lean into self awareness. What are those things that after you do that, you say, boy, I’m really happy. I did that. I feel better after I did that and then carving out time in our schedules and being okay with that and I understand, Maggie, that is. It’s a hard thing to do and it takes reps and it takes practice to do that but once we convince ourselves that our impact is based on how we take care of ourselves, then we start to realize the ROI on that time.

[00:32:50] Maggie Augustyn: Ryan Holiday is one of our, we talk about Ryan Holiday a bit on this podcast. He’s a, he’s someone that believes in stoicism and Ryan’s, if I could call him Ryan, he, we’re not friends. Right. Right. Mr. Holiday. Mr. Holiday. Um. Yeah. He says that we should simply feel good for doing good things, that if we lift others up, that should be the ROI and my goodness, do I wish that that was simply the case and I think all of us on, on this call and all of the listeners know that we take care of our families, that we take care of our patients, and sometimes. Even the best cosmetic dentists in this country who take care of celebrities feel like these patients are not grateful enough for having their entire lives transformed. I know I feel that with my patients. Our teams aren’t grateful enough for what we sacrifice for them. They don’t see See that our, our families take us for granted and so we walk around carrying this weight of holding everyone up and yes, it feels good to hold everyone up. And we all subscribe to the servile leadership, but the truth is that it’s heavy and it feels like no one is there to take care of us and so this last time, after we got back from the PDA conference, it, it felt especially heavy for me. And so we have this PDA doc chat and chat is and I was just, it felt like the bottom fell out from under because you go from being on stage where you’re revered, right? People look up to you and then you come home and literally you are unseen. If you’ve been gone a week, you walk through the door and nobody noticed. That you were gone, nobody noticed that you’re back, nobody noticed that you paid the mortgage, nobody noticed that the treatment plans are, are being, nobody notices, right? So, and I’m a huge fan of coaching, I’m a coaching junkie, I’ve had a life coach for many years, I’m a coaching client with PDA, and am I to relate that some of the ways that I can feel more seen as the giver because yes, Mr. Holiday is right. I should feel good just for helping others, but I guess maybe I’m defective, but I don’t. Am I to understand that when I’m in that place, and I’ll tell you, talking to my friends about how unseen I am, and having them say, “We are unseen also,” made me feel seen. Am I to understand that in those moments, Going for a hike, understanding what it is that I need to take a break and to be in quiet, all those things that you mentioned, that is how I get myself through those difficult moments of being unseen.

[00:35:32] Eric Recker: For me, it’s one of, it’s definitely one of the ways and wow, you asked a tremendously powerful question there. So one of the things and one of the huge advantages. of having lunch with my friend Todd on Tuesdays is we can share those things with each other. We can get, we have just over that amount of time, we have just said, you know, whatever is said here is said in a safe space. It doesn’t mean we feel different about our families or our teams. It does not, but sometimes we need to put words to the feelings that are inside us or else our head is going to explode, right? We just need to be honest about that. So we can be brutally honest with each other about the things that are going on and when we say that take, for example, a, a longtime employee, 15 year employee that you have done everything that you can see in your power. You have taken care of this person. You’ve checked in with them. I’ve prayed with them, you know, lots of different things like that, but then some little issue comes up and for them, it becomes a, what have you done lately for me, lying in the sand? It’s like, “Holy cow, I’ve been working 15 years on this relationship and this is going to be the thing that’s going to break it. Oh my gosh, 30 cents on your hourly, this is going to be what it’s going to end up being. You’re going to do that,” but these are the things that we face and if we keep those things inside and we have to deal with them inside, they lead to burnout. They kill us. They’re stressful. All of that. We have to have an outlet where we can share these things. We have to have someone that we can tell about this. If you’re not comfortable having somebody to tell it, tell it to your journal. Get it written out. Just get it out of your body and out of your mind because those things, those are like video game power ups to the false sense of urgency. Those just lift it and lift it and lift it and lift it so it’s hanging out up here. And then all of a sudden you, you can’t, you can’t suppress it because it’s like, “Oh my gosh, what did I do wrong?” I got to overanalyze everything I’ve ever done with that 15 year employee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That’s their journey. They’re on a different journey than what you’re on. Your patients are on a different journey than what you’re on and most of the time your patients have their phone in front of them about this close to them. And that’s the extent of what they’re focused on in their life. So when we start to realize that about other people and all the stuff they have going on, when they’re not grateful to us, it’s not necessarily that they’re not grateful people. It’s just, this is one thing in the whole list of things that they have going on in life. If that makes sense. Mm hmm.

[00:38:11] Regan Robertson: Oh my gosh. It does so much. So, cause Maggie, I, I used to think that, um, same way about not, not just not work things necessarily, but even in my own life that, why aren’t you grateful? I’m killing myself. Like I’m working so hard. I’m trying to be everything to everyone and I had, I guess how Eric, I would define that flip for me was counterintuitive. Thank you. So when somebody expressed not being grateful, instead of getting defensive or feeling upset around it, I went into active listening mode. So I started to just ask them more questions and maybe podcasting for a few years has helped me ask great questions but what I found out nine times out of 10 is it’s not whatever the moment is. It’s something going on underneath their life. That’s underneath their life. That’s underneath their life and they, Maggie, to your point, they don’t feel seen either and so I give them like that space. Yeah, cause it feels counterintuitive. Cause I’m in a rush. Maggie and Chad know me. I don’t have time for X, Y, Z. So it feels counterintuitive but when I’ve slowed down, it has helped me at least have a little bit more kindness even towards myself. So maybe that is selfish, but it gives me compassion. Like, okay, I know where they’re coming from now. I know what this person’s thinking. Going through, it doesn’t have to do all with me and gave me maybe a greater perspective.

[00:39:23] Eric Recker: Yeah, I think we get, I think we get caregiver fatigue is what ultimately happens. So I have a tremendous amount of respect for people who work in the long term care. Uh, when, for people who work in the, the long term care industry, people who have a debilitated spouse that they have to take care of, uh, whatever it is. We are caretakers. That’s what we are. We’re taking care of our patients, we’re taking care of our teams, we’re taking care of our friends, we’re taking care of everybody who’s got stuff going on and that is tiring. That is just tiring and it drains us like crazy, the being everything to everyone but ultimately, at the end of the day, we have an opportunity to help people be seen, known, and heard and in our current culture, people are not being seen, known, and heard. We are doing it from a distance through social media but it’s, it’s a lot of that comparison, it’s best day, worst day stuff. So, we have an opportunity to see, know, and hear people. Well, who’s seeing us? Who’s knowing us and who’s hearing us? That’s where I think those relationships or coaching or whatever that is, is so vitally important and then just stepping back and asking the question, “Okay, what do I need? What do I need?” And then being okay, being a little bit selfish, so that I can go back to being selfless for other people. It’s so important.

[00:40:49] Chad Johnson: Self care. Yep. Well, there’s a natural end. Amen. Yeah.

[00:40:52] Eric Recker:

[00:40:53] Chad Johnson: timely. This is a very

[00:40:56] Regan Robertson: This was timely. This is a verytimely episode, Eric. I think there’s a lot of relatability for it. Um, for people who want to know more about your books, like you have two books, correct? You have, um, the, when the now and the now. Damn, damn analogy. Where can we find those books? Where can people learn more about you and connect with you?

[00:41:17] Eric Recker: Yeah. So, uh, website is ericrekker. com. Uh, there’s stuff about coaching and speaking and a bunch of dental stuff on there. And then the books are on Amazon. Super easy to get them. If you can’t remember the names, just Google them. Type in my name, they’ll pop up. So yeah, I would, uh, like I said, I’m a heavily relational person. I love to have conversations here where people are at on their journey. If I can help great, if not, I’m a huge fan of steering people in the direction where they can find help because you know, we’re all in this together. We really are.

[00:41:50] Regan Robertson: Thank you. So that is www dot Eric E R I C record R E C K E R. com. So that’s how you spell record and did I hear just quickly, I wanted to underline that. Do you provide coaching? Did you say also?

[00:42:03] Eric Recker: Yes. I do.

[00:42:05] Regan Robertson: Phenomenal.

[00:42:06] Eric Recker: Yep. I strongly believe in the power of coaching. I have an amazing coach and the people that I’ve worked with. To be invited into someone’s life at that level is one of the greatest privileges that I get to experience.

[00:42:19] Chad Johnson: Well, thanks for joining us. We look forward to the next episode and we look forward to Eric having you back sometime. Thank you very much for joining us.

[00:42:27] Regan Robertson: Thank you for listening to another episode of Everyday Practices Podcast. Chad and I are here every week thanks to our community of listeners just like you, and we’d love your help. It would mean the world if you can help spread the word by sharing this episode with a fellow dentist and leave us a review on iTunes or Spotify. Do you have an extraordinary story you’d like to share or feedback on how we can make this podcast even more awesome? Drop us an email at podcast@productivedentist.com and don’t forget to check out our other podcasts from Productive Dentist Academy at productivedentist.com/podcasts. See you next week.